Maybe Marti Knows??- Week 7: New Year’s Eve Nightmare
Hey Marti!
Wazzupp? How are you? I’m decent, except for this little dilemma I’m having. I’m gonna tell you about it, I hope that’s okay.
So I am BEYOND excited to go home for Christmas (literally you have no idea). A little backstory before I go into this: I’m from New Hampshire and my boyfriend is from Massachusetts but we met out in California. That being said, it’s super convenient that when we go home for holidays and vacations, we’re only about an hour and a half away from each other.
Obviously Christmas is a family holiday. I will always be spending that with my family until I have one of my own. But then there’s New Year’s Eve. Typically, this holiday is spent with significant others and/or friends, right? Well, just recently my mom texted me about these big plans she had for NYE. “Big plans” meaning spending the night in a hotel and playing board games. Which, I’d totally be down for on any normal day, but for NYE it’s kinda…lame?
I live 3,000 miles away from my family during the rest of the year, so I know my mom will feel like I’m “abandoning” them. Even if it’s just for one night. My whole family is going to be there, including kids, which is why they want to make it a chill night. But, everyone else who’s going to be there is married…so their S.O.’s are already going to be there! I’ll totally feel like a zillionth wheel.
Marti, am I a horrible daughter for wanting to have fun and hang out with my S.O. on New Year’s? What do you think I should do? Could I hang with them for just a while and then drive an hour or so to spend the night with my boyfriend? And if I were to tell my mom I wanted to make other plans, how in the heck would I go about it? Am I making too big of a deal out of this?? HELP!!
Sincerely,
New Year’s Eve Nightmare
Dear New Year’s Eve Nightmare,
Last New Year’s Eve my friend Sabrina made me do tequila shots in a dive bar. We’d spent an hour walking in the cold in very high heels and very short dresses, and the only way to numb the blisters and warm our hands was to start drinking, and quickly.
We raised our shot glasses high and toasted to our friendship and cursed our ex-boyfriends and then we slammed those shots (and a few more shots) like bad bitches and wiped our mouths.
Neither of us had any idea what would happen when the clock struck midnight and the calendar flipped forward another year. We both had hopes and dreams and fears and worries, but sitting on those wobbly barstools with an illicit bottle of champagne in a gift bag below us, all we really cared about was laughing and drinking off the year we’d already experienced.
So much can happen in a year. So much pain and joy and sorrow and hope is crammed into those 365 days. And you never see it coming. That night, I never would have known that as I’m writing this Sabrina would be across the country in a New York apartment, her hair cut short and her eyes brighter than ever. I never would have known that I’d be preparing for a move of my own, all of my stuff crammed into boxes and a date on the calendar circled in red.
I could never have imagined how much my heart would break, how much I’d cry, how hard I’d laugh or how many cookies I’d eat. I didn’t know who I was going to kiss, who I was going to hurt, who was going to hurt me. I didn’t know that I’d get my ass kicked and have to build myself back up from the bottom, ivy and flowers and lace and pure grit winding their way up my spine and reminding me who I am.
I didn’t know anything except for what sat directly in front of me: tequila, Sabrina, and cautious optimism. We spent the night swapping stories and laughing with our heads thrown back and never once worried about what would come in the morning. We had each other, and that was enough.
There isn’t a wrong way to spend New Year’s Eve, because there isn’t a wrong way to spend the new year. Whether you’re playing boardgames with your family or dancing with your boyfriend, you’re starting something new, you’re getting a fresh start. You’re casting your face up to the stars and letting glitter under your skin and allowing the next 365 days to change you.
You should spend the night with the people who mean the most to you, and if that means you need to split your night up in order to tie up 2017 in a pretty silver bow, then do it. Tell your mom you love her, that you want to dance around the hotel room with her and throw confetti in the air, but that you also want to kiss your boyfriend and hold his hand as the clock strikes midnight.
Do what makes you happy, and give in to new beginnings, I know I will.
Marti
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